The tight rope that you wander every time
by bluerabbit12
Summary: Q had no idea what it meant. He only knew it has just ended. 00Q, set after Skyfall
1. Chapter 1

_Wide eyed, with a heart made full of fright_

 _Your eyes follow like tracers in the night_

 _And the tight rope that you wander every time_

 _You have been weighed, you have been found wanting_

 _Been wondering for days, how you felt me slip your mind_

 _Leave behind your wanton ways, I wanna learn to love in kind_

 _'Cause you were all I ever longed for_

 _(Mumford and sons: The wolf)_

The last mission ended a week ago. There was nothing remotely interesting at home, which was why Bond was spending more and more time in Q's lab annoying the young man, only to make it up by bringing him tea and suggesting him – no, _forcing him_ to eat; or even taking him for a quick lunch.

However, Q has been gone for the last two days and Bond was having a hard time resisting the urge to find out where he lives and visit him. Never mind he probably wouldn't make it past the front door because of the boffin's security system. It would be _fun._

He was determined to do so the next day when, suddenly, he got a message.

 _007, I need your help. Personal stuff. Don't inform Mallory. Q_

Personal stuff? What the hell is that?

 _Q, where are you?_

 _Rome._

Well, that rules out the visit.

 _What happened?_

There was some hesitation for a while. _I'll tell you when you arrive. If you'll help me, I mean? You'd have take a few days off._

At least he won't be so terribly bored. _I will help you. Where are we going to meet?_

XXX

Q was sitting at a table in a dark parka and a sweater. There was a rucksack next to him. Bond thought for a while what it could contain besides 'normal stuff' and decided he didn't want to know.

He took the other chair. The waitress was there in a second. „Espresso."

He then turned to Q who was facing his mug.

„Thank you for coming," the boy murmured.

„No problem."

The waitress brought coffee and disappeared behind the counter.

„It's my sister. She… well, it's complicated."

„I'm listening." Bond kept his face still although he was surprised by the fact that Q had siblings. It wasn't strange, only it reminded him of how little he knew about the man.

"She usually calls our mother, who's ill, once in a month, but now she hasn't called in two months. At first I thought she forgot." Q straightened his hair and licked his lips. "My sister's been taking drugs – two years ago, mostly cocaine, but I think she's attempted everything, actually." He looked directly at Bond, and when he saw the agent didn't move, he seemed to relax a bit. "Six months ago, she left the sanatorium. She was clean."

The both took a sip.

"So I followed her here. I found out she came to visit a man who calls himself Machiavelli. He's one of the most famous drug dealers in Italy."

He once again looked at Bond who was watching him intensely. "Don't get me wrong. Machiavelli isn't ours. I've already contacted the police and gave them all the information they needed. Oh, and I hacked his computer and blocked all of his transactions." Bond tried not to look impressed but failed.

Q took a breath. „I just want to take my sister away before someone hurts her." _If they already haven't._ „But I need your help to do so."

Bond finished his coffee. „Alright. I have one condition, though."

Q's face was hard as a stone. „Sure. What is it?"

Bond didn't smile for real, no, but there was a strange kindness in his eyes. „It's not an official thing. So call me James, please."

XXX

Bond took Q to one the most expensive hotels in Rome, not quite listening to his complaints, and paid for a room (once again, with Q complaining about the price and about Bond possibly wanting something in return).

Q was merely relieved they had two single beds. He couldn't fall asleep that night, which was why he went to the kitchen and turned on his laptop. And even though he knew there was no point in doing so, he kept looking at the coding of the system he had deactivated before. It gave him a feeling of being closer to Joanne.

„Q?" The agent was suddenly standing right behind him. Q turned around.

„Damn it, Bond. Don't do that."

„I told you to call me James."

Q sighed. „And I told you I'm your colleague, not your girlfriend. Go to sleep, I have something to finish."

„You mean staring at the screen? Q, you can't help her now. You'll do that tomorrow but you need to sleep now."

Q hated him but knew he was right.

The agent kept watching him. „You said your mother was ill," he said.

It surprised Q. „That's true. Multiple sclerosis. She must undergo regular medical tests."

„I'm sorry." Bond might have sounded restrained but Q still _knew._

„I know you are."

The agent put a hand on his shoulder. Hesitant but firm. Not completely certain – not yet. „You need to get some sleep."

And Q listened to him.

XXX

"We are here."

They stopped in one of the dead end streets, next to a small entrance which led to a high building.

"Okay." Q looked at the door. "Bond, remember what I said. You'll cause trouble just for so long that I have time to find Jo, then you come back. Now go."

Bond gave him a look but left. Q entered the door and went to the right. He knew where to look for his sister – downstairs where the new ones were sent.

Bond checked the corridor before him and turned back. He had no intention of leaving Q alone – and if someone sees them, they'll be the ones to regret.

„Q?" he whispered when he got on the first level. He reached a large dark room and saw him almost immediately. Q was kneeling in the middle, holding a seemingly unconscious girl.

Bond ran to them. The pale dark-haired woman was breathing slowly and Q was checking her pulse and eyelids. Then he breathed out. „It's not drugs."

Bond nodded. „That's good news but we still need to get her out." There were some voices coming from the other side.

Q shook his head as if to start thinking properly. „Bond, quickly, help me." They ran out and hid behind some bins where they waited until the men who were after them went back.

When Joanne woke up in a hospital an hour later, she seemed a bit surprised. More than a bit, actually.

„Hi, Jo." Q was sitting next to her, smiling brightly.

„What – what are _you_ doing here?"

Q grew more serious. „I should be the one asking. They told me you were clean but Jo, how could you _-_ "

His sister suddenly looked scared. „I'm sorry," she whispered, „you have no idea how hard it was not to _start_ again… not to… the guy said he had something new, I just..."

Q looked at her firmly.

„… I just thought you wouldn't find out, so I came here, but they didn't give me anything and they locked me th-there..."

Q pulled her into a hug. „What the hell did you think?" He whispered. „Jo, do you know what could have happened to you?" Jo just started sobbing.

Q stroked her hair. „It's alright, I'm here. Everything is going to be fine, just don't ever do that again, okay? You had me so damn worried."

Jo laughed shakily. „I won't, I promise."

Q wasn't sure if he can take it seriously but at the moment, the only thing that mattered was that she was alive and breathing and that he could hold her in his arms.

XXX

Bond was waiting for him in their room.

„I don't want to leave her here. I don't want to but she's decided." Q sat down and Bond did the same.

„She'll stay here, in a sanatorium. I've spoken to the doctor – he gave me his word that they'll make sure she doesn't leave sooner this time. He should keep it, then." The last sentence sounded almost like a threat.

„She'll be fine. She's as stubborn as you." That made Q smile a bit. Bond patted his shoulder before he got up. „We're going to dinner. I pay."

Q looked at him suspiciously. „Bond, it's not a problem for me to pay. Though you didn't have to choose this place, that's true."

„That was no subject to discussion. Come."

Q was having fun, although he would never admit it. „You think I'm a dog or what? I won't go because you tell me."

„No, but you'll come because you owe me."

Q had no answer to that.

XXX

They stayed there for two more days because Bond just had to see the city and he had to take Q with him.

The last evening, they were sitting in the kitchen and arguing about something. Eagerly.

„I'll have them bring diner up tonight," Bond said when they stopped, „there won't be much food at the party."

It took a while for Q to catch up. „A party?"

„Yes." Bond pronounced it slowly as if he was speaking to a child. „In an hour. Don't worry, I've already got you a suit. You will like it – and it will suit you _very_ _well_."

Q, on the other hand, had nothing spicy to shoot back, which was why he kept staring unprofessionally.

„Q, mission's accomplished. I don't see why you shouldn't enjoy yourself."

„I don't like the way you talk about my sis -"

„Q." The boffin gave him a long look full of hatred. „Come to the party. Please."

When he later remembed their conversation, Q couldn't understand why that didn't seem suspicious to him. The agent could have taken anyone to the party, so why was he insisting on _him_ going?

„Fine, I'll go," he snapped. „But if you try to seduce some girl down there, and you will, just go to her room. Please," he imitated his earlier behaviour.

He waited for a sarcastic nod and then went to the bathroom to change. That way, he couldn't see Bond's grin, which was probably for the best.

XXX

Bond left a bit sooner – shortly after Q shouted at him through the door that he can _feel_ his impatience and it's making him nervous. Not immediately, though.

"Q, you realize it's taking you more time than to a girl?"

"Shut up, will you? I don't know how to do these buttons. The person who made it was an idiot."

"Should I go help you? It's true I'm better in _undoing_ , but still..."

"Bond, if you don't get out right now, I'll send you on the next mission with a pink gun."

That was when Bond finally left, because he knew just how serious Q can be about his threats.

The people were beggining to gather downstairs. Bond looked around – a few ladies in shiny dress and gentlemen in tuxedos, looking quite big-headed even for wealthy people. Bond enjoyed a certain level of luxury but in spite of the common opinion of his colleagues, he lacked this type of arrogance.

He went to the bar and ordered a drink. Soon, the rest arrived too and a moment later the music started playing.

XXX

The blonde seemed that she's already had enough. She's been sitting next to Bond only for a while but she was giggling all the time and stroking his forearm with her fingers. Her husband was chatting with friends in one corner, not quite worried about her.

"And you're here alone... Mr. Bond?" she asked suggestively and looked at him from behind her lashes. The mascara gave them the effect – if she hadn't been wearing it, they'd be shorter than Q's.

 _He shouldn't be thinking about Q – not now, when a beautiful woman's flirting with him. For some reason, he didn't have real intention of getting her into his bed but it was fun anyway. And he'll be thinking of Q..._

„I'm here with a colleague. It's a work trip, but our mission is… secret."

The blonde giggled again until something behind Bond's shoulder caught her attention. „Isn't it your colleague?"

Bond turned around.

Q was walking down the stairs in a dark grey, perfectly suited smoking. His hair was combed better than usual and he wore lenses. He looked even more confident than back in London. It was no wonder that the blonde opened her mouth – it was only strange Bond did the same but he closed it short after and he was sure no one saw it. Because if they did, it wouldn't be good for them, _would it._

Q approached them slowly. „Good evening," he said, more to the girl who had already closed her mouth, too.

„Hey," Bond retorted. „You took your time."

Q still had the same iron-melting smile. „I'm sorry," he replied kindly, „I had a row with the lenses. Not used to them."

Bond noticed the girl winking at Q and realized he didn't like it, not at all.

„I'll get us something to drink," he said instead and called the waiter.

XXX

Three glasses of wine and Q started talking a bit more. It was mostly Bianca's (or Beatrice's?) fault, though, because she kept asking him questions and this time, it was him who's forearm was being touched.

Q didn't seem bothered. His answers were polite and (if possible) true. Well, his name probably wasn't Jack but she didn't need to know everything.

Five more minutes and Bond was done. He later blamed the alcohol, stress, frustration, everything just not to admit that there was something very irritating on the way the girl spoke to his quartermaster, the way she touched her hair and flirted with him.

He stepped in front of the man. „Jack," he couldn't hide the irony from his voice, „will you dance with me?"

Q looked a bit shocked. „That's… that's not a good idea."

„I'm sure it is." Bond pretended not to see Beatrice's (or Barbara's, he didn't know and didn't care) attempts to say something. „Please."

That was the second time he was begging Q that evening. It was getting weird.

The young man kept looking at the offered hand for a bit longer but then he gave up and let himself be led amongst the dancing pairs. They started spinning and Q tried, really tried not to look into Bond's eyes, although the man's gaze never left him. He almost wished for the dance to end.

As soon as the music stopped playing, he excused himself, escaped from Bianca and went to his room where he took out the lenses and put on his glasses with a relieved sigh.

It didn't surprise him that Bond was waiting for him in the kitchen, sitting on a chair with an inscrutable expression.

Q leaned against the wall. „Fine. What is it?" He asked as calmly as he possibly could.

Bond did not answer. Not straight away. Instead, he got up and walked to him, stopping inches away from his face.

Q didn't let himself feel intimidated. „What is it?" He asked again, coldly.

And then Bond kissed him.

Every rational thought flew away because Bond, a double-oh and a womanizer, kissed him, Q, his very _male_ quartermaster.

And then because Bond kissed him like he was the only thing that mattered to him, because he bit his upper lip and put his hand on his neck and pulled him closer and touched his lips with his tongue and _oh god…_

Q pushed him away after a moment. They stayed that way for a while, both breathing rapidly. When Q looked at him again, Bond was still standing there like he was frozen, a million emotions floating in his eyes. „I'm sorry," he said harshly. Then, he was gone.

Q sat down and not for the first time, he wished for the wall to swallow him down.

Bond was gone for the rest of the night.

XXX

Q woke up after six am, he showered and went down for breakfast. He wasn't really expecting anything, but Bond was there, sitting at a table with an empty coffe mug.

The young man thought it through and joined him.

Bond didn't acknowledge his presence, only his grip on the mug became tighter.

Q was trying to find an explanation somewhere in his face but gave up soon. „Thank you for helping me," he said quietly when the silence became unbearable.

Bond looked at him. His eyes were dark with no emotion. „You're welcome," he answered without interest, then got up and left.

And Q understood that whatever happened between them, it has just ended.


	2. Chapter 2

_Finally._ He put down his glasses and blinked. He's been sitting on that chair for almost twelve hours and hasn't eaten anything besides some biscuits. Also, he didn't sleep much. There was no wonder he was looking forward to going home.

Most of the workers have already left - there were only a few cleaners by now. Q walked out of the building and breathed in the fresh air. He liked his 'basement kingdom' (Bond's term) but now that he could go outside and feel the soft wind touch his face, it was the best feeling in the whole day. It wasn't far to the nearest Tube station and it won't be that overcrowded anymore. He could even sit down if he wanted. Which he didn't, as his lower part informed him.

A black car suddenly came from behind the corner and Q instinctively went to the other side of the pavement, hand on his gun. He didn't care what people like Bond thought, he could shoot. He just hasn't tried it in the field yet but that was another thing.

The car stopped next to him and the driver opened the door. Q felt relief when he realized it was 007, who was now smiling at him.

„Need a ride, Q?" It was the first time they met since the… incident, as Q called it creatively.

„No, thank you." Q replied, trying to regain his confidence.

„Are you sure?"

„Positive. Now excuse me, I have to go."

The car followed him and Q suddenly felt awkward. He stopped and folded his arms.

Bond got out and Q immediately took a step back. „007, leave me alone or I'll be forced to shoot you."

It would probably have a better impact if Bond, _that bastard,_ wasn't grinning so brightly.

„Q," he groaned. Um, yes, literally. „I'll take you home and then leave you alone. Just let me do that, you know I owe you."

Q gave up. „Don't you dare go faster than is the speed limit," he murmured when he was getting into the car with a reluctant expression.

XXX

They stopped in front of one of the lower buildings. „We're here. Thanks for the ride." Q went out but then, for some reason, stopped.

„Can I ask you something?" There, he said it.

„Anything."

„Why do you do it?"

Bond only nodded. Then he walked straight to Q and kissed him.

Q pushed him away, again. „Why do you do it?" He repeated. „Just to be clear, I'm not leaving before I get a decent answer. I deserve it."

Bond nodded again. „Back in the hotel, I panicked because I've never kissed… a man. This was new and quite scary. I needed to understand it."

„Well, do you?"

Bond hesitated for a moment. „I think so."

It was so strange to see the agent unsure. Q was almost certain that privilege belonged only to him, and there was something fascinating about that.

„So?" He asked, trying to get his thoughts together.

„So, I can't promise you anything. I can't promise you I won't get killed on the next mission. I can only promise that if you give me a chance, I'll never sleep with anyone else again."

Q stared at him because he definitely didn't expect that. He had imagined Bond telling him he's not interested, Bond telling him he wants him as a notch on the bedpost, Bond saying anything but this. This was a completely new level, and more than a declaration of love from someone like Bond.

„You can't be serious," he whispered, but the hand that caught his and pulled him closer showed him otherwise. He returned the kiss this time.

Some time later, they were sitting in Q's kitchen. Well, more like Q was sitting and Bond half lying on top of him.

„What's your name?" the agent asked suddenly, pulling a strand of hair from his face. Q knew it was to come back in a second but he didn't complain at all.

„Why do you want to know?" The older man noticed his forming smile and stole another kiss.

„Obviously, I want to know the name of my best mistake."

Q leaned closer and rested his forehead against Bond's.

He still wasn't sure if he can take it seriously but at the moment, the only thing that mattered was that they were alive and breathing and that he could hold Bond in his arms.

„James?"

„Yes?"

„Will."


End file.
